Chapter 0313
“I’m afraid to ask,” I said to Charlotte over tea a couple of days later, “But what does the public think of Julian and my fake
relationship?”
Charlotte closed her eyes. She clapped her hands together and inhaled deeply. “I don’t even know where to begin.”
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” I asked.
“A good thing. A very good thing.” When she opened her eyes, her gaze was intense, as if she’d been waiting for this moment to
share everything with me. “It’s totally taken over the news cycle. Outside of the palace, it’s all anyone can talk about.”
“I’d been Julian’s favorite for a while...”
“Yeah, but it was nothing like this,” Charlotte said. “The way you two acted on camera has claimed everyone’s attention. People
are barely even talking about Terry anymore. Instead, it’s all about the great debate.”
I looked at her strangely. When she didn’t elaborate, I pressed, “The debate?”
“On who you should be with,” Charlotte said. She took a sip of her tea. “Julian or Nicholas.”
Being on a dating competition that was viewed publicly by most of the kingdom, I understood that my love life would generate
some type of discussion. But to actually hear about it happening feels so surreal, I can hardly believe it.
“What are they saying?” I asked.
She shrugged. “Some people think Julian’s bad boy behavior might be too much for you. Others think you might be the one who
could ‘fix’ him.”
“Fix him?” Julian didn’t need fixed. He was fine the way he was and whoever he ended up with needed to see that.
I tried to imagine what a ‘fixed’ Julian would even look like. Would he need to become the son his father wanted him to be,
obedient and perfect? I cringed. That was not Julian.
Julian’s rebellious streak was part of who he was. If that was taken away, he would be a fundamentally different person.
“What are they saying about Nicholas and me?” I asked, mostly to drag my thoughts away from such an unsettling image.
Charlotte lowered her head. She’d been so keen to talk about Julian only a moment ago, but now she was clamming up.
“Charlotte?”
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She sighed. When she spoke, it was with reluctance, as if the words were dragged out of her. “ They don’t know if you would
make the best Luna...”
“Oh.” The words struck me in the gut, punching harder than they had any right to. They were right to question me, I had no
experience with leading a kingdom. I had no wolf. I dropped out of the Academy.
Most of the time, I didn’t know what I was doing here at all. Sometimes everything felt like a dream. Reunited with Nicholas, Elva
being healthy, have three meals a day with a solid roof over my head...
I knew it was temporary, and my time here had not been without strife. But to not worry about the basic needs of Elva and me
was such a relief.
A true Luna would have bigger concerns than herself and her immediate family. With the way my life had been, I’d had to focus
on Elva and me just to survive.
The public had a right to question if I would be a good Luna. They had a right to doubt me as the best match for Nicholas.
Because I doubted all those things too.
“I’m sorry,” Charlotte said.
I felt bad. She had been excited to tell me the gossip. I felt like I stole some of her sunshine away.
“No,” I said. “It’s nothing I shouldn’t have expected.”
Later that afternoon, Nicholas came to visit to spend time with Elva. Today, he and Elva had taken perch at the table and were
taking turns drawing horses. Elva’s were mostly stick- figures with four long legs. Nichola s’s weren’t much better.
They would show each other and laugh and it was very sweet. When they had taken a break, I sneaked away some drawings
from both their piles to cherish as keepsakes.
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Chapter 0314
Elva was introducing Nicholas to her dolls when I came closer. I caught Nichola s’s eye and smiled at him, he made no return
gesture. He simply blinked at me and looked back at Elva.
Elva received all of his smiles today. While I was glad for it – I would never be jealous of my child – I felt the growing rift between
Nicholas and me. He had not forgiven me, then, for kissing Julian. For doing what needed to be done to both save the kingdom,
and him.
When playtime was over, Nicholas gave Elva a big hug.
“I’ll see you out,” I told him as they parted.
“Please visit again, Nick-lass!” Elva called.
“I will,” he said. “I promise.”
That was good enough for Elva. She returned to her dolls.
When Nicholas and I reached the door, I turned to face him. “Nick, we need to talk about this
>>
“What is there to talk about, Piper?”
“This.” I waved between us. I hated feelings so distant from him, like he was giving me the cold shoulder. “I understand you don’t
like the idea of Julian and me, but...”
He crossed his arms. This wasn’t going to be an easy conversation.
“Can’t you see what I’m doing is exactly what you’ve been doing with Olivia and Lilliana? It’s not real,” I said.
“This is different than that,” he said, voice flat.
“Is it?”
“Yes.”
“How?” I pressed.
He locked his jaw. He didn’t have a good enough answer then.
“It’s okay to be jealous,” I said.
“I’m not jealous.” Suddenly emotion was back in his voice, fierce and sharp, and totally contradictory to his words.
It made something inside of me snap.
“Oh, no? Then what is it? Because whatever is going on between Julian and me isn’t real. It’s
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trying to punish me for it?”
I hadn’t meant to say so much, but my heart was so battle worn from the growing distance between us. I hadn’t been able to
shield my feelings at all. If anything, I only felt more heartsick, being apart from him.
Could he feel it too? Was that part of why he was so cold? Did our distance make him just as miserable?
Finally, at once, Nicholas sighed and all of the tension slipped away with him. A bit of warmth returned to his voice and his eyes.
He seemed almost sad, looking at me now.
“I’m not trying to punish you, Piper. I’m just... infuriated by the situation. You shouldn’t be in this position. None of this should fall
on you.”
“I’m strong,” I said. “I can handle it.”
“I know that, but I still don’t like it.” Clenching his jaw, he looked away. “I also don’t trust Julian.”
“Julian would never hurt me.” Of that, I was entirely certain.
Nicholas shook his head. “I’m not worried about him hurting you...”
I frowned. “Then what?”
His gaze slid back to me and for a long moment, he stared down at me, as if he could see into the depths of my soul. He stepped
closer, right into my space, forcing me to look up at him.
He could kiss me like this. I wanted him too. I held my breath, anticipating.
His eyes slipped down to my lips. I licked them.
He swallowed hard.
Time slowed. If he tried to kiss me, I would let him. Putting distance between us felt like a terrible mistake. I’d right it now, if he’d
let me. I’d kiss him until we both needed to come up for air.
Instead, he stepped back. “Goodnight, Piper,” he said, then turned and left the room.