LUO YAN was startled when Shen Ji Yun suddenly pulled him out of the fortune teller's booth. That's why he wasn't able to react as quickly as he should. When he was finally able to, the other had already pulled him to an area with fewer people.
He wasn't sure if Shen Ji Yun did it on purpose or if he just moved instinctively. But after he glanced at his face and saw his expression, he knew that it was definitely the latter.
Just looking at the other's expression, it wasn't that hard to guess the reason why. Especially if one considered what led for the other to pull him like this. Shen Ji Yun must have been affected by what the grandma said about his fortune, or fortunes, to be exact. Either one of those fortunes would definitely be upsetting for the other.
"Brother Ji Yun," he called to make the other stop.
But Shen Ji Yun continued to walk as if he didn't hear him. And maybe he didn't, because he was much too overwhelmed by whatever emotion he was feeling right now.
So, he called in a much louder voice, "Brother Ji Yun, stop!"
Finally, the other stopped walking. But he didn't say anything and just stood there, silently holding his hand.
With his free hand, he touched Shen Ji Yun's cheek and gently turned his face towards him. "Brother Ji Yun, there's no need to be upset," he said with a tender smile, trying to calm the other.
But it only seemed to have an opposite effect. "How can I not be upset? She just said that you will—I can't even say it."
Luo Yan stared at the other, feeling a bit surprised. Because this was the first time he had seen Shen Ji Yun with an obvious expression of anger. Like it's not something that only he would notice but others could as well.
And that's very monumental, considering how other people could barely tell what he was thinking most of the time. This meant that Shen Ji Yun must be really angry right now. Or that there's a lot of emotions going on inside him that he could barely contain it. Thus, making his facial muscles move in ways it normally wouldn't.
"If Brother Ji Yun is worried about me getting married and having a family of my own, it doesn't necessarily mean that my so-called love of my life will be a woman," he said trying to light up the atmosphere. "I could marry you and we could adopt a child. That's entirely a very probable future. Don't you think?"
Shen Ji Yun, who was still fuming a second ago, felt his anger being doused because of the image Luo Yan's words paint in his mind. A future in which he and the other were married to each other and a child of their own. It was so easy to imagine it that his brain froze and it was the only thing he could think of for the next couple seconds.
That image was too beautiful that a smile almost crossed his mind. But the moment he almost did, the voice of the fortune teller telling Luo Yan that he was supposed to die young echoed in his mind again. And the anger that slowly died down started to blaze once more.
"That's not what I was worried about," he said. "The fact that she implied that, that, I don't even want to say it."
Ah, so it was that.—Luo Yan thought.
The reason for the other's anger was because of the grandma's statement about him supposedly dying young. He should have known that it was because of that. It just fit with Shen Ji Yun's personality. His love for him always showed in the most unexpected places.
The urge to hug and kiss the other was so strong that his hands almost felt itchy. To satisfy this need, he pulled Shen Ji Yun behind a big tree, away from the prying gaze of the few people passing by this area.
Once they were fully covered by the tree trunk, he no longer resisted and hugged the other's waist, leaning his head on his shoulder.
"It won't happen, Brother Ji Yun. Aren't I very healthy now? The fortune teller grandma was probably just pertaining to the accident I had when I was young. After all, a lot of people also think that it's a miracle that I woke up."
Luo Yan knew that that fortune was more likely for 'Luo Yan', not him. But how could he explain that to Shen Ji Yun?
It's not that he was worried that the other wouldn't accept him if he knew the whole truth. Or that he would think of him as a monster or something. No, there's no possibility that any of that could happen. contemporary romance
But this was not the time yet. To be exact, he wasn't ready to tell Shen Ji Yun about his past or how this current life came to be. He wanted to, but he was still not emotionally ready to do it.
It had nothing to do with Shen Ji Yun. It was all him. Even if he knew that Shen Ji Yun would accept him as he was, at the back of his mind, he was still afraid of the 'what ifs'. What if he would get angry? What if his love for him diminished? What if he looked at him weirdly? What if, in his eyes, he was no longer the same Luo Yan that he loved?
All this brought trepidation to his heart.
Yes, it was not only stupid, but totally unfounded. Because not once did Shen Ji Yun showed signs that he would do any of that. But he couldn't stop those fears lingering in him.
He was just human, after all. He could feel scared and also act like a coward. For now, he needed to give himself the space and patience to navigate his own emotions, trusting that when the time was right, he would find the courage to share his truth with the one he loved.
done.co
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